Instead of a monk meditating imagine this. An overtired, irritable mother trying to find an escape in hopes of “peace” and of course quiet. The monk doesn’t have little people tugging on him. I doubt anyone throws pillows at his face while mediating. Or hey (my personal favorite) puts a dirty diaper under his nose, while eyes closed. You’re getting a visual, right?

This is my reality. I am mom of three beautiful-wild-creative bundles of joy and energy (ages 5,3, and almost 2). They are a big part of the reason I wanted to get back into my meditation practice.

Recently I was engulfed in this fantastic meditation!!! And then…. I heard my middle child running up the stairs and screaming that her brother took off his diaper and pooped on the floor. My thought, “I am in a good place. I totally got this.” When I went down the stairs however, I saw the diaper mess but then there was added fun. Eggshells were dug out of the trash, crayons had been stuck down the vacuum cleaner, every cushion was off the couch, and the cat had gotten into my favorite plant. I lost it. I basically turned into a toddler and threw a huge temper tantrum. It was not pretty and not a proud mom moment. How could I possibly go from total peace to losing it in less than 4 minutes?

It made me think of this book I once read called The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu. It has vast wisdom and is definitely worth the read. I recall a part in the book where the Dalai Lama is observing a mother on an airplane with her baby. The child was distressed and she was trying to calm the baby. He wondered if he could have provided the same compassion that she did, for hours while her child was upset. He reveals that it is far more impactful to act in love than it is to meditate about it for hours on end. In this he justifies how difficult parenting is.

The epiphany around this is that I really need to do a better job at integrating that loving energy that is cultivated in my meditation practice and put that action towards my children and my life. This parenting business is tough. I’m not sure anyone has all the right answers or will always react in the best manner. In reality, we are all imperfectly perfect humans. However, I will strive to teach them compassion in stressful and chaotic times. I am the role model.

For the next week, I have a plan to not react before taking at least 3-5 (maybe 10) deep breaths and pray for patience and strength. I have several things that I’m going to attempt to implement as well.

I’m totally open for tips on how you act compassionately as a parent to some of your least favorite situations or behaviors. May we all survive this thing called parenting together! With love,

Nichole